TEARS ARE THE SUMMER SHOWERS OF OUR SOUL

(~Alfred Austin, Savonarola)

“Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.”

My right hamstring is still aching and the last two practices have been heartbreaking. I'm injured, in India, doing yoga. I am half flexible and can barely do my poses. I want to vomit, I want to cry. Tomorrow is my last class and I hope I can survive. I asked Sharath today if I should bother...maybe let it heal. He suggests a hot shower and to rub oil on my body to help the muscles. He insists I work through the pain. Ouch. More Advil in the morning. My body is not used to this much physical strain.


"You Can Heal Your Life" says:
Pain= Guilt...guilt always seeks punishment.
Legs= Carry us forward in life.
Muscles= Resistance to new experiences- ability to move in life.
Right side= Giving out, letting go. Masculine energy.
Diarreah= Fear, rejection, running off.

I am feeling sorry for myself until I walk out of the shala and see a homeless man sitting on the street with no leg. Through the alignment of the body (yoga) one discovers the alignment of the mind, the self and intelligence.

I went to acupuncture and it was one of those new experiences that was comical, because I did not know what it was about. "Balance," Sean says. "It is Chinese medicine for your body like tuning a car, to tonify deficiencies and bring down excesses.""

I had:
-2 needles in my lower back (nourishes kidney 'chi'/life energy & strengthens)
-1 in my hip
-4 in the back of my right thigh (bladder meridian to remove stagnation/ inflammation/ scar tissue). It was just a slight pain in the lower leg sites.

Then he took a lit cigar-like tube of smoking, rolled herbs and heated the needles to radiate into me. It is called 'Moxa'. I don't feel much different, but we shall see!

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”~Maya Angelou

Last day at the orphanage. I miss my own children, however seeing the orphans here puts things into perspective. I walk in and they are all seated up against the wall in a line, on the floor, eating rice for breakfast with their fingers. It has been a crash course in Kanata language. One 13 year old asked me to braid her hair as they all rushed off in their school uniforms and braids. I can communicate somewhat with a few phrases. I found out how to say "What is your name" and wrote down all of the names. Calling each one by name THRILLED them, and it built significance. Then I played a 'jump off the ledge into my arms' game with the preschoolers, (since I couldn't communicate other game rules). This one built trust. Some flew through the air with arms flung open. Others were too scared to jump or were very hesitant. We played this alot as it required no language! On my first day, they wanted me to reach up to a tree and pull berries off for them to eat. "Ackai, Ackai!!!" They yelled at me with delight. I thought they were Ackai berries. Then they said 'Ackai' for everything and I thought it meant 'look!' I asked 'Auntie' what it meant and she said 'Big sister'.

One of the senior women says to me "Sister, take me down." She wanted me to help her down the stairs. One little girl took the old lady's sandals off as I guided her down the concrete steps into a rickshaw. She also said, "They are not good kids!".

I pulled out my 'restricted' camera with permission and took pictures and videos of the kids. It was barnyard TV! The older women asked me to take their pictures and arranged a fashion shoot. One led me to the pump to photograph her 'significnace' of pumping water. Another holding her basket of cilantro leaves. Then I sat there for a good 10 minutes as the kids stared into their reflection of my sunglasses. They may have never seen a mirror. They were fascinated by what they looked like. In the West we are consumed mostly by our outer reflection, rather than our inner reflection.

I see 'Fairness cream' in the shops here. Apparently darkness means you are working in the sun all day and of lower caste. We like a suntan in the West as it says you have time to be outdoors! Everyday I am getting comments about my complexion. I am pretty sure it's genetic but someone always asks what magic cream I use, or it looks like I am glowing or that my skin looks airbrushed. *(Nana: Isn't this part of our 'Fey' British heritage? Perfect skin is one of the characteristics of fairies crossed with humans? Can someone please clarify:) I believe it to be the humidity as well as I only get random comments back home. That combined with yoga boot camp and spiritual good vibes...

I also read an article in the Mysore newspaper on the shifting of Indian womens roles. Women are getting more looks/ career conscious and less homemaker conscious. We did that 50 years ago? I think the next revolution will be a spiritual movement. The journey inward. We served our mates/ family, then we served our outer selves, through career and image. Next people will be more interested in discovering the inner self.


"Crying is one of the highest devotional songs. One who knows crying, knows spiritual practice. If you can cry with a pure heart, nothing else compares to such a prayer. Crying includes all the principals of yoga." ~Yoga For Depression

I spent 3 hours on the phone with Damian crying yesterday. Every time we speak I cry. My heart is getting a work out over here!

I wonder if I will cry when it is time to leave India. As they say: India changes you.


“Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.”
Dr. Seuss

For those who want to donate to the orphanage email:
bapajimysore@yahoo.co.in
attention Mrs. Nandes