INVOLUTION

The inner quest for growth and evolution.

On my first morning in Mysore, the cook serves me chai tea and Yashoda, my house mom and I sit and chat about activities in town. Ayurvedic clinics, Chamundi hill and Mysore temple.

Yashoda also comes to my room every night to chat. She talks to me in the mornings and when I arrive home. I think she likes to see what is going on in the room I'm renting, snooping in a loving way. She will even peek into my shopping bags to see what I have purchased. One night she asks if I had a good day and if I have made any friends. I say "No I am not here to make friends" and smile. She scolds me in her sweet insistence and says it takes time but it is important to make friends.

My intention was to journey alone. To get away from the personal and business demands and chaos with people at home. I wanted an inward journey to find that relationship within myself that has disintegrated throughout the years; dissolved into the lives of others through a sort of 'loving others osmosis'. To force myself to endure coming face to face with any fears or other character flaws that are so easily acquired in Western life.

I set new intentions on meeting a new friend...a kindred yoga sister spirit. Thankfully, the universe spilled over and I did discover a few of those wonderful like minded hearts and spirits that I was able to connect with.

One of these comrades profoundly commented on how easily we reach for the phone, reach for the TV, or reach for friends and family when life is boring or a struggle. In India, one has to reach inside themselves. To that deeper part that is so easily forgotten or abandoned, in favour of the easy things that feel good. Sometimes whats inside is not a pretty sight, and we avoid at all costs from briefly glancing into that mirror of our souls. Other distractions include alcohol, eating, socializing, exercise...there are many ways to evade reality!

Many times, I just sat back and observed myself in 'the situation'. (Very interesting if you have ever done this, if not try it!) I was at the local coffee stand, or what I call the Mysore Starbucks, tongue-in-cheek. In reality, it is a fly-infested hole in the wall with a patio out front, where I would sit and have my morning masala chai tea, with foul smelling mud, litter and dogs at my feet. Groups of Indian richshaw drivers and local men folk, loudly chatter and visit. I drink in the sights and the scalding sourish milk concoction, from a small shot glass. Sometimes I take 2 to-go and return the tiny glasses later in the day.

One morning a large group of Western yogis sat and animately converse on the patio. The Indian boy set my 2 chais on a table beside the group. I went with the moment, sat by myself and observed. I was fascinated, as I consciously viewed my emotions as they floated through my body. Not being part of the group felt odd, but good in a way. I was awakened to the awareness of all that was going on around me and in me. I thought- How would I react if they invited me over? How would I feel if they didn't? Normally, I would walk over and join in, being the socializer I am known to be. But it was all about being in the moment without being caught up in it. Sitting back, I calmly contemplated and recognized those needs and fears that link us as humans. I highly recommend it sometime!

Other times, I observed the conversations around me. The empty prattle, I was very familiar with as I myself have felt the need to talk just to fill the void air. Overhearing meaningless conversations, I begins to wonder, Why, as I take in whole discussions about useless nothingness.

In Kerela, Rachel and I had a meditative quiet moment on the beach. We faced the sea, closed our eyes with hands in prayer position, reflecting on the moment and being grateful. We are both standing there in complete stillness for about 15 minutes, when a 'snap' stirs my attention. I look beside me and an Indian man is putting away his camera and walking away. I think, hey I've just been 'karma-lized'! Since I had taken so many pictures of the locals, one snapped a picture of the two praying white girls on the beach.

Friends in Mysore comment on how I am so inquisitive, always asking questions and taking notes. Deep questions like, what would you do if you had six months to live? Or, what would you do if you won a million dollars? I find it fascinating as you really tap into what a person is really about. What lights their fire- passions, interests and treasures. "I get it!" One friend comments. She figures out since I am a writer and in media and TV that I am used to digging and prying and many people are not comfortable with that. Another says I am inquisitive and expect things from people. Hmmm...I have found though that some are dying to be heard and have a story to tell. And I get my pen out...


"The teacher points the way, but we must do our own traveling."
~Buddha