THE HOMELESS INTERIOR DESIGNER
REHABITAT
The word ‘alone’, broken down is ‘all in one’, meaning there is no more division. In my dreams, I’ve flown over India, solitary in an airplane, in awe of the sprawling land below. I see mountain ranges in amber, and the sunset sands of a nation I long to visit. Villages and buildings so removed from the urban landscape of the Canadian prairies. I’ve walked beside a river in these dreams, quite possibly the Ganges, along a path, speaking with locals of a different culture and experience. People float by in yoga ‘asanas’, in beautiful poses. As ridiculous as dreams may be, they are a hybrid or an illusion of what we experience in everyday life. For never even being to the sub-continental part of the world, I see it vividly in my mind’s eye. India is calling and the voice, perhaps it is my own inner one, is becoming stronger everyday.
In my land and reality, I live in a booming oil economy, with Alberta’s construction industry bursting at the seams with soaring real estate prices and population increases. As a local interior design consultant I have cashed in on the explosion by providing the homeowner services of beautifying residences with all of the lavish luxuries that a surging income brings to the average Edmontonian. As a very social person, I have always been surrounded by people; friends, clients, my children or various partners in life. The desire to be isolated in this experience is a conundrum.
With four children of my own, running in all directions with society’s expectations of music lessons and sports activities, my passion for yoga has brought me to a new self-awareness and a minimalist lifestyle. Realizing a false sense of living, the fake nails were the first to go. I was in downward dog, and was staring down at these ridiculous plastic fingernails one day and it occurred to me how absurd life had become. Everything was so phony and the fake nails were the first sign. Now, I’m proud now of what have been called my ‘lesbian’ finger nails or that of a hard working woman. It’s real. People comment all the time about how I need to get my nails done for TV or work…I just laugh! Now, my vision is to look at how ninety percent of the rest of the world lives; extreme poverty and pain, while we ponder for a week about what colour of granite counter tops to put in our kitchen.
My dream takes shape as I plan to give away belongings, sell the family home and send the kids to live with Dad for a few weeks, as the first steps to realizing this aspiration. Traveling to India to practice yoga and research homes is just a glimpse into how most of the world lives in a third world country. I long to peer inside the lives, the ghettos, the orphanages, the granite factories and all of the other unseen realities we have turned a blind eye to in climbing the ladder to the illusion of success. Going undercover, I visualize child labour camps where Persian rugs are handmade in child sweat shops and then adorn the floors of the affluent.
With Oprah as my biggest muse, I have been enlightened with the ambition of one day being a guest on her show, revealing my adventures as the homeless interior designer. There have been many times when I’ve stopped what I was doing, staring glued to the television with tears streaming down my face, as I listen to the atrocities brought into human suffering. Female circumcisions, women being stoned to death for adultery and child prostitution, are just the tip of the iceberg. I picture myself being a vigilante and saving all of the poor souls afflicted by the world’s woes. I imagine environmental issues in other nations will also be brought to light, and I can share my experiences with those around me.
During the exploration into other cultural lifestyles, I anticipate being homesick surviving the trials and tribulations of culture shock, revealed through journaling, tears and confessions during this process of self-discovery. Traveling through many towns and villages, discovering the splendor of historical places like Jaipur, the ‘Pink City’, Bombay and the tropical beaches of the Arabian Sea, my journal and camera capture the beauty of ancient architecture and artifacts. Through the ultimate sacrifice of family and a financially secure lifestyle, I anticipate discovering the true meaning of life through my travels, taking myself and my readers on a trip of a lifetime.
The first step begins. My house is officially for sale and the process begins. It’s interesting how easy it is to let go of the attachments. Clothes and toys are donated with joy, as I feel I am blessing others with the ‘stuff’ that no longer serves me. I think about the money I have made on this house and think I could easily live comfortably for six years or so. What about when I return? Will it be foolish to squander the investment and start from scratch again? The promise of riches and reward remind me with the proceeds of a book, to sustain me, as I let go once again of any fear of lack.
Tonight, I return from a trip in the mountains with my life partner and soul mate. Although we are officially broken up, we are still madly in love and the best of friends. Our relationship has never been better. Perhaps this was the catalyst after almost four years of ups and downs and heartache, to finally let go and find that relationship deep within myself.
As I arrive home, I realize that there is no place like home. It is so nice to have a place to come home to, with all of the familiar belongings to greet me, and two cats that bring life to an otherwise quiet space. One cat, Scout, my baby whom I watched being born, loves me with incredible affection. I feel sad in knowing that I will have to find homes for both of these two little souls. Paris, my other kitty has no desire for human contact. My daughter quips that she treats our house like a hotel. Only coming home to eat and sleep. Then there is my old faithful black lab Justus, who has been through it all in the last eight years, and thinks he is a triplet to my twin boys. He was a puppy when they were just ten months old and they loved to love him with all of the roughness that little boys are known for. The kids are at their Dad’s tonight, a relief in knowing there will be less stress in the morning rush of Mondays. Still, my home is just another thing or belonging that needs to be maintained, paid for and cleaned. After staying in a hotel, luxury life, with other people who serve, clean and cook for you, it is easy to get accustomed to. Now in my own home, I contemplate what it will be like to be homeless, as I nestle into the soft down depths of my king sized bed.
Pet update: Scout ran away from the sitter's and Paris' new owner had to put her down due to illness. She now resides on the great scratching post in the sky. Justus, the lab runs free on a farm and is welcome to come home whenever we decide:)
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