THAT'S SOOOO BARNYARD!

"Barnyard" is my new slogan. In North America, we may say "It's so ghetto!" However, in India, there are many new phrases that come out of my mouth, (as I am the cliche queen). So now, I say: "Thats so barnyard" to everything, as it really is literal! Other sayings that are in my everyday vocabulary are:

-"It's India!" (When things just don't go they way you planned...)
-"Expect the unexpected..." (Which really is true, because everyday you see a sight you've never seen before, nor expect to see, or something happens that is so ridiculous.)
-"India is an assault on the senses." Is more of a reminder of the sounds- (dogs barking all night long and no one seems to care, the cars honk incessantly, the merchants verbally harass when you shop) along with the foul smells, the shocking sights and the varying tastes.
-"Go with the flow, cuz the flow knows where to go!" Planning is futile here, and if you try, India will leave you frustrated.

Yesterday I randomly went with the flow. I was walking by Rachel's and popped in to say hello. She was with Sahida and they were going to a temple 35 km from Mysore and invited me. Without a second thought...I had money and my camera...I was on the road in a motorized rickshaw to who knows where. At first, it was nice to get out of the city and breath the fresh air in the open rickshaw and see the lush and green wide open spaces. It helped to erase some of the 'assault on the senses'. As we were shakily rambling over narrow and rough, red dirt roads throughout the countryside, I began to wonder- what was I thinking? I had never met Sahida- and she was now leading us on some milk run through the countryside of India. I must admit uncertainty crept over me like a prickly shadow. I began creating stories in my head that she was taking us to some white prostitution ring out in the middle of no where and I would have to see how well my Kung Fu moves served me! For over an hour of bumpy and rugged terrain, we saw alot of barnyard!

We snaked through the tiny villages, where cows and farm animals roamed freely on the road. We even saw some cows or water buffaloes being bathed in a river by the locals. Many of the homes were lean-tos with banana leaf thatched roofs. Women squatted in their dirty saris breaking a pile of rocks with a hammer in the ditch. They all stare at the foreigners invading a peek into their everyday, simple life.

I was relieved to see that there was actually a temple at the end of our route, and thankful that we didn't take the bus as we had first planned. We had the luxury of no stops, plus I can't imagine how buses could manage those confining roads, or when we would even get there.

We each paid our 100 rupees admission and went into the outdoor, abandoned temple. Outside, it wasn't too exciting, but as I stepped into the stone giant, my breath was lost at the stunning detail. Every wall, pillar and ceiling was hand carved stone down to the tiniest minutia. Deities, elephants, dancers, royalty...it was unbelievable how the artists could create such a sight.

As Rachel and Sahida took pictures of one another, using sunglasses as a filter on the camera to create an orange antique photo, I had my own little photo shoot with myself. Below is a sample of my handiwork! We browsed the tiny shack stores and I bought Henriette a gift (secrets!!!!) and made our return back to Mysore by dusk.




In the city, it is still very barnyard. Cows rule the streets, just as you may have heard about India. They are considered holy and no one can hurt one. They wander around, eating garbage from the gutters, stand or lay in the middle of the road and the dense traffic just makes its way around them. Elise says not to move out of the way for the beeping cars..."Act like a cow! Glance over and ignore the honk!" Ya right! Its still a shocking sight to see cows everywhere. Even though one hears and grasps the concept, until one actually sees it, do we understand. When the cow feels like going home, it returns to the owner to be relieved of its milk. The milk then becomes holy, as it is not taken from the cow, but rather given freely. Barnyard?

Driving is a whole other endeavor in India. I am still trying to decipher how many honks means what:

1 honk- I see you
2 honks- I have the right of way
3 honks- I am overtaking you
4 honks- Get the fuck out of my way

Just a guess! However, the right hand drive cars drive on the left side of the road, no one signals, and there are no lanes or rhyme nor reason! Just massive amounts of people all trying to pass each other, honking. There are very few stop lights, and when they stop, they turn off the engine. When the light turns green, they all rev up again. Even coasting down hills without the engine on is common. I don't even want to try to ride a scooter as many of the brave westerners do. Very barnyard.

I attempted to take a rickshaw downtown to pick up my saris by myself. I had a 12 o'clock appointment at "Dazzles" sari shop. They were closed. Sooooo barnyard. Now I am out another 100 rupees in rickshaw fare. I am not complaining, really!

This morning, I went with Elise and we had an underground quasi-illegal yoga class at Shelly's. The shala is closed for 4 days so we rebelled and did our own private class on her marble tiled living room floor. Interesting, because it used to be the old shala, back in the day.

After, Rachel and I went to the Green Hotel to the organic market to pick up my handmade business cards. I bought some organic cotton, vegetable dyed pants and we had a fruit platter on the terrace. The pineapple actually tasted like a barnyard, but since I am not complaining this week, we just laugh. On our walk back, we saw chickens run around the yards, rows of dried cow patties lining the street and logs of patty-caked cow patties with actual hand-prints in them! Who knows who collected all the cow poops and what they are used for...

Gratefully I am in India, as there are no coconut stands in barnyards!

AWAKENING INNER BLISS

I have now practiced yoga for 6 consecutive days. A first in my world! No wonder I have been craving chocolate...my body is in shock.

On my first day here while in conversation with my yoga teacher Sharath, an Indian woman in a sari came up to him, kneeled at his feet, kissed her hands and his feet 3 times, then swept the air to her third eye. Reputably, the Guru's energy comes into one this way.

However, 2 weeks later, its interesting to see the reverence and the spirituality extremes coexisting with the lack of respect.

Walking to the store, I was stopped by a youth of about 17 on a motorbike. "Excuse me...can you please show me your boobs?" I was absolutely dumbfounded as it took about 10 seconds to register. Zero reaction, other than my jaw on the ground, as he drove away. It was as though someone threw a bucket of cold water on me. After, I was thinking of all of the brilliant things I could have done: thrown a flip flop at his head, ran up and punched him or said something obscene, but nothing came to mind. Does this mean I have nirvana? I was even covered in a shawl, long sleeves and a high neckline. At the market I have to be downright rude and scold hawkers and beggers that are unrelenting. We are so kind and polite in Canada to everyone, but here, I walk with my sunglasses on, eyes down and don't talk to anyone. The Indian men try to talk to me... "Where are you from? Whats your name?" I just ignore and turn and walk in the other direction. If they persist, I say "Please don't talk to me." Rachel shook a rickshaw driver's hand. I passed her the antibacterial gel and told her "You're not supposed to do that here or they think you are a Ho!"

This morning, I was reading about Nirvana. Its about permanently stopping all negative thoughts and never getting angry again. At the same time, I could hear Elise in the hallway yelling at Yashoda, about her private washroom and the cook in there doing a number 2. Now it is tainted and she had to brush her teeth in my bathroom. This lifestyle can be so frustrating!

At breakfast, I ordered a yummy veggie omelet (there is no meat here- I've been a vegetarian for almost 3 weeks now), and decided I will eat all the foods I may miss for 9 days. I started crying, literally. I broke down and felt so helpless . My omelet was so salty I could barely eat it, there were potatoes in it (wtf?) and they forgot the tomato chutney. Anyone who knows me (My son Jordan says I'm so picky), knows how fickle I am about my food and frequently send meals back to the kitchen in restaurants.

Elise, Akasha and I then had a good chat about loss of control and surrender. Here, we don't have the luxury of choice, preparing our own food in our kitchen, shopping at all the regular stores with the availability of products at our fingertips. Even the comfort and leisure of going to any restaurant we choose. With the language barrier, you really don't know what the hell you might get. In Mysore, the hours are set: Lunch at 1, dinner at 5. We dine at only a few trustworthy places and what you get is what you get. There is a real letting go in the process.

But isn't this the way to inner bliss? The book I 'coincidentally' am reading is all about this subject...hmmmm interesting parallel! For example, Root ignorance- everything we see is not what we think it is- things are not themselves- they are ourselves. Self-ness- The things we perceive are seeds in our own mind and different from someone else. So basically, most other people would have loved the omelet; the salt, the potato, or even just having food to eat today. But I created the dissatisfaction in my own mind. We like what feels good and brings us peace and dislike what feels bad or brings us pain.

It is difficult not to get angry here, and this is another one of the karmic cleanse rules I may find challenging.

FROM COCOON TO BUTTERFLY

"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light." ~Plato

I am getting used to the constant power outages in India. Typically at night when I am reading or in the middle of something and then POOF! Complete black. Very scary! I have plenty of candles handy just in case. It is all part of the adventure and helps me to appreciate our life in Canada. I went downstairs to make sure Elise had a match and found her standing in a daze with dental floss still hanging from her teeth, trying to use her cell phone as a flashlight.

The world famous Pattahbi Jois taught class today. He is 92 on Tuesday. He counted very fast and we flew through the poses. In the middle of our headstands, he got up and went to the bathroom at number 7. When he came back after 3 minutes, he says: "Yaaaate" which is "eight" with an accent. Everyone laughed. I was doing yoga on the stage right next to him as there were no more spots on the floor. Good energy. The class only lasted an hour.

After, was downtown with Eva from Hong Kong. I bought one of Pattahbi Jois' yoga books. We went sari shopping and I ordered 2. (See picture above) The shopkeeper kept complaining that I was so tall! They custom make them for you from any fabric you choose. I look like Indian Barbie:)

Besides the power failures, the pollution, noise and crowds, another adjustment is grasping the disturbing 'caste system' here and depending on your birth family, that level is your 'caste':
1- Brahman (Godly/ physicians/ educated)
2-Warrior
3-Merchants
4-Servants
Asking what your fathers job is or how much you make is quite normal conversation. My house mom is a Brahman and so there are servants- cook, maid, gardener, etc. There are certain maids who also don't even touch toilets. I feel self-reproach about having 'Ningamar' the tiny dark skinned woman come in and 'swab' my floors with a grass hand broom, squatting over in her dingy sari. I sit on my bed and monitor her as instructed (the upper caste stands to watch them work to ensure they don't steal anything). Bored, I paint my under-worked, growing fingernails. It just doesn't ever feel clean here...it makes my house looks like a Lysol commercial! Ningamar also washes my clothes on the 'washing stone' for me, which doesn't smell the same as home. I tried to hand wash them in a bucket in my room, but was scolded not to. When I come and go, Ama is always sitting and watching TV. She eats her meal at the table while the servants sit on the floor at her feet like a dog to eat their food.

Eating is a whole other undertaking. Since they don't have toilet paper here, you wash only with your left hand after squatting at the hole in the ground (there are taps and a bucket to use) and one only eats with the right hand....with no cutlery or napkins!!!! They use naan or roti breads to scoop up the beans/ curry or whatever as sauce drips down the arm. It is quite an unpleasant experience.

"Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man." Matthew 15:11

I have done a few dietary cleanses in the past, but while I am here I am thinking of doing a Karmic cleanse! I am supposed to start on the new moon (Sunday) as that is the best time for new beginnings. I am also not to watch TV or read newspapers. (Easy since I don't do that here at all, barely at home.) I'll have to close my eyes when I pass Ama in the dining room. Good thing the audio is in Hindi.

It is 9 daily steps for 9 days. (9 is an Indian numerology favourite).

1- No Complaining. (I must admit I have been doing alot of that here!!!)
2- No Criticism of others.
3- Observe thoughts and actions. They are magnified as the pressure builds when you stop doing the first 2!
4- Arise one hour earlier than usual and practice yoga or martial arts. 4 am is called "Hourti" or 'God's time' as this is when there is a special change in the ionic concentration of the atmosphere. The whole electromagnetic balance of the stratosphere changes before dawn, and we catch these beneficial waves. Bizarre!
5- Eat one major meal. Fruits and vegetables and water only. No meats/ fish or fowl.
6- Meditate between dawn and sunset for 20 minutes or more. Deep relaxation resuscitates the body and inner being.
7- Do something daily that is disliked. This should be interesting as I am in India...we shall see what I come up with! This builds will power.
8- Perform a selfless act. This will be very easy in India. Tiny, barefoot and dirty 3 year olds carrying a diaper-less baby sibling, pull on my arm constantly begging for food. We are discouraged from giving handouts, but rather give to an agency that helps feed the poor. I will inquire to volunteer at one of the orphanages.
9- Review and recall the day in bed at night. Pause and experience the emotions that come. Acknowledge, look within, see the flaws and all else that is there and face the fears. Evaluate to repair and re-imagine in a positive way.

Wow tall order! I can't imagine the fruit and veggie only part...that will be the hardest as chocolate is my favourite thing to get me through the other stuff right now.

Wish me luck:)

Namaste!

FERTILE SOIL

Today was a productive day! It all starts good in India, usually with a Red Bull soda bought at the corner store (its safe to drink and its caffeine:) - but today I had the luxury of an instant coffee in my house. Yoga with yesterdays sunburn on my thighs mixed with the lotus position stung a bit.

After was Sanskrit/ chanting/ Sutra class...too much work for my vacationing brain. In Tina's Indian cooking class I learned how to make Roti/ chipoti, spinach dal and stuffed eggplant. You are all in for a yummy surprise when I return. Kids- I have a video to teach you how to make the flat breads- you will love the 'roti'...they are like homemade tortillas and you can put anything on them including butter and brown sugar...mmmmmm! Next week I put in a request for paalak paneer and mint chutney, along with a black bean dish as well.

This is the place to grow seeds as it is very much fertile soil. I am mostly alone with myself or strangers, with some becoming friends. It is the opposite of my life in Canada #1) I barely cook #2) I am surrounded by my adorable kids and an affectionate boyfriend #3) I don't sit still!

In India, I have learned to quiet the mind and be at peace in the moment...not letting anything ripple my pond! I will be so chilled when I return you won't know who I am:)

...Except for when the lizard runs up my wall at night or at the internet cafe, the cockroach jumps on my chest in my sleep, or a rat runs around Shelly's house. I am checking out the toilet every time to make sure a cobra doesn't slither up. Then I tend to jump on a chair or run around screaming...one day I will get used to it! Ganeshe and Anu who run the internet cafe say that lizards are good luck and will bring me great fortune and riches. So the lizards and I are now friends:)

TROPICAL PARADISE

Today was a good day to lounge around the pool. I went with Rachel from California...she is a sister-writer as well. Our conversations are full of 'purple prose' as we joke in our flowery words. The Palm Springs Pool at the Southern Star Hotel felt like a luxurious trip somewhere other than the sullied India I am used to! There were palm trees lining the sapphire waters and the sun sparkled as it cooked my skin that had been covered like a Muslim for the past 2 weeks. It is now burnt...Today is a better day after all with the encouragement from friends emails...Thank you guys:) I also had another long phone call with Damian at 3 am Edmonton time. It cost me the equivalent of 28 buffet dinners in Rupees, but well worth it.

My house mum asked if I still had ' loose motion' which I thought that was hysterical...(aka diarrhea!) Therefore, Yoga was shaky today as I still have a bit of queasy left in me. I kept getting lost, forgot poses, backtracked...what a mess! As I fluidly bound in the D pose that had earlier escaped me, I looked up to see Sharath smiling and giving the thumbs up...I get to move on!!!! I did the next move "BHUJAPID ASANA" and got the disapproval and the head shake..."Is it bad?" I ask innocently? What a rookie I am. Ran into David Swenson outside the shala. He is the famous yoga video guy that plays on the TV continuously at lululemon. Also another couple that are famous 'yoga sutra' authors from NY...he is a Buddhist 'Geshe' or master. Geshe Micheal Roach and Christie McNally-she did the Great Retreat in Arizona's high desert for 3 years, 3 months, and 3 days. I wonder how that affected her love life? Wow...I am humbled. Everyone is coming to celebrate the birthday, while I think I may fly off to Goa, the Taj Mahal or Pondicherry for the 4 days they are closed.

I also think I might go for a 'transomatic hypnotherapy' session to reveal past traumas...should be off the wall!!!! Even though: "Memories are an illusion...we are reborn everyday"(-Dr. John Mumford, Karma manual.)

And a Sutras class as well....Loving this leisurely lifestyle.

Meditate on THIS:

"Art is long, life is short;
Experience is dangerous;
Opportunity is fleeting,
and judgment is difficult"

~Hippocrates "Instruction to Physicians" (opening paragraph)

DELHI BELLY

Up all night sick to my stomach with the famous Delhi belly- or a virus that is going around here. Projectile spinach 'saag paneer'...not a good thing all over a white bathroom! Did not make it to yoga...I was nailed to the bed until 2 this afternoon when I was forced to get up and walk to the internet cafe to submit an article for my deadline. Its a good thing Damian gave me those charcoal capsules before I left as I think it settled things down.

I called my parents to cry to them and my mom said..."Don't give up, hang in there...if you come back now you'll regret it for life. You are there for a reason!" Then had a 2 hour cell phone conversation with Damian, laying in bed whimpering (wonder how much that will be!!!!)

The picture is with my flat-mate Elise from New York- an Ashtanga instructor. We went to the Tibetan Monastery and stopped at a sketchy roadside cafe. I did not know what I ordered, but we had a pretty good laugh at the size of it! It tasted like deep fried flour and is called a 'paper dosa'...never again!!!!

Went to a meditation last night involving candle-gazing...interesting! Its good for me to sit and calm my mind for an hour. There is so much to do in India, from Sanskrit lessons, mediation, Ayurevedic or Thai massage, chanting and all sorts of other spiritual quests.

There is a 92nd birthday party for Pattabhi Jois this weekend and the shala is closed for a few days. I think I will plan a trip or an adventure!

Getting tired of the Indian food a bit. I miss real Canadian grocery stores and restaurant foods:(
Especially when I am sick...

INNER TOURISM

I finally bound in mariachasana D today in yoga...on both sides! A week exactly from what Sharath said on my first day. He's pretty funny...he keeps saying "Don't hurry!" and with his accent sounds like "Don't Worry!"...He knows I am type A impatient and he keeps scolding me for trying to move ahead without his 'blessing'.

I met an Indian lady who was telling me some very spooky spiritual stories. She is sending me to an Arabian coffee reader in Bangalore to have my fortune told. Apparently people come from far and wide to see her. I may just make the 2 hour trip. There is also a highly recommended temple 8 hours drive away that she also says will be life changing. Anyone ever hear of 'The blue-eyed baba'? Everything here is very ceremonious and spiritual. I love it!


My legs were licked by a stray dog a few days ago...YUCK! I did not have my rabies shot so I was a little worried. Then when I broke out in red bumps, my house mum sent me to the hospital...I was in and out in 15 minutes and it turns out they were insect bites...phew:) No worries about the rabies. It all cost me about $2.50. Sign seen at hospital:

"Spiritual knowledge is the only thing that can destroy our miseries forever. Any other knowledge satisfies wants only for a time." ~Swami Vivekanada

Other friends of mine keeping blogs here are Rachael from San Diego: embodiedmovement.blogspot.com
and Elise from New York:
mysoremusings.blogspot.com
If you want to hear more eventful tales.

I will be writing an article on the Mysore Green Hotel in Sunday's Sun if anyone gets the chance to read it and save me a copy. It is on eco-tourism!

MY FIRST WEEK IN INDIA

It has officially been a week here in Mysore now and I am finding that I have my bearings and can get around okay. I walk everywhere; it is such a treat!!!! I just try to be hyper-vigilant and avoid rabid dogs and monkeys, cows wandering the streets and the garbage, poop and spit that is everywhere.

The people here are wonderful. Nothing to worry about! The biggest concern is avoiding the motor-rickshaws and cars that drive on the left side of the road and honk to signal...they have the right of way so I have leapt out of danger a few times, not sure who is coming from where.

All of the many yogis are hyper-spiritual and purists, whereas I feel more like a realist... but it will soon come, I imagine. I am meeting many people from around the world who are becoming fantastic friends.

Shopping is unbelievable! India is sooooo cheap and I don't mean inexpensive. My lodging is $4 a night and my meals are about $3 for an all you can eat buffet. I am starting to get cheaper as I know how much things here cost in Rupees. I take my favourite clothes/ pictures of clothes/ designs to the tailor, they reproduce it in any fabric with any alterations. And it all costs a whopping $12. I even had a silk tunic made for $24 CDN. Good thing I packed light:) I will buy a silk sari and the tailor makes a king sized duvet and 2 pillows from it. I feel like I am starting to speak choppy English as I am always trying to break down the language barrier by simplifying my communication to the locals.

Yoga is inspiring. The moves that people can do are incredible. One-day-soon-come...To quote the famous yoga teacher here...I am not used to practicing with 60 people + in a room just inches apart. I am stopped at 'Maranichanasa D'...I 'bind' on one side, but not flexible enough to do the left.

VERY homesick/ heartsick and miss Damian like crazy. The kids too, however I know they are having a great time with summer holidays. Lexi's 13th birthday is on the 23rd of July!!!! Happy birthday gorgeous!!!! I sometimes have the impulse to drop this place and rush back home, but I am working through it! It is part of what needs to happen as I get deeper into yoga and myself. Good times....

"Mala" is Sanskrit for garland. "Pushpamala", vivid flower garlands, are sold on the streets of India. Boys with baskets on their heads, men on bikes, ladies sewing strings of jasmine at tables on the corners. People hang the fragrant garlands from their hair, doorways, cars and as religious offerings to the deities. "Japamala" is a beaded necklace for counting prayers. Yoga, is a garland of poses and breaths, strung together to "adorn our entire being with peace, health, radiance and ultimately self-knowledge." (~Yoga Mala, Pattahbi Jois.) I am here in Mysore, India to study yoga at the Ashtanga Yoga Research Institute with Gurujii Pattahbi Jois and Shareth to go deeper into my practice.