THAT'S SOOOO BARNYARD!

"Barnyard" is my new slogan. In North America, we may say "It's so ghetto!" However, in India, there are many new phrases that come out of my mouth, (as I am the cliche queen). So now, I say: "Thats so barnyard" to everything, as it really is literal! Other sayings that are in my everyday vocabulary are:

-"It's India!" (When things just don't go they way you planned...)
-"Expect the unexpected..." (Which really is true, because everyday you see a sight you've never seen before, nor expect to see, or something happens that is so ridiculous.)
-"India is an assault on the senses." Is more of a reminder of the sounds- (dogs barking all night long and no one seems to care, the cars honk incessantly, the merchants verbally harass when you shop) along with the foul smells, the shocking sights and the varying tastes.
-"Go with the flow, cuz the flow knows where to go!" Planning is futile here, and if you try, India will leave you frustrated.

Yesterday I randomly went with the flow. I was walking by Rachel's and popped in to say hello. She was with Sahida and they were going to a temple 35 km from Mysore and invited me. Without a second thought...I had money and my camera...I was on the road in a motorized rickshaw to who knows where. At first, it was nice to get out of the city and breath the fresh air in the open rickshaw and see the lush and green wide open spaces. It helped to erase some of the 'assault on the senses'. As we were shakily rambling over narrow and rough, red dirt roads throughout the countryside, I began to wonder- what was I thinking? I had never met Sahida- and she was now leading us on some milk run through the countryside of India. I must admit uncertainty crept over me like a prickly shadow. I began creating stories in my head that she was taking us to some white prostitution ring out in the middle of no where and I would have to see how well my Kung Fu moves served me! For over an hour of bumpy and rugged terrain, we saw alot of barnyard!

We snaked through the tiny villages, where cows and farm animals roamed freely on the road. We even saw some cows or water buffaloes being bathed in a river by the locals. Many of the homes were lean-tos with banana leaf thatched roofs. Women squatted in their dirty saris breaking a pile of rocks with a hammer in the ditch. They all stare at the foreigners invading a peek into their everyday, simple life.

I was relieved to see that there was actually a temple at the end of our route, and thankful that we didn't take the bus as we had first planned. We had the luxury of no stops, plus I can't imagine how buses could manage those confining roads, or when we would even get there.

We each paid our 100 rupees admission and went into the outdoor, abandoned temple. Outside, it wasn't too exciting, but as I stepped into the stone giant, my breath was lost at the stunning detail. Every wall, pillar and ceiling was hand carved stone down to the tiniest minutia. Deities, elephants, dancers, royalty...it was unbelievable how the artists could create such a sight.

As Rachel and Sahida took pictures of one another, using sunglasses as a filter on the camera to create an orange antique photo, I had my own little photo shoot with myself. Below is a sample of my handiwork! We browsed the tiny shack stores and I bought Henriette a gift (secrets!!!!) and made our return back to Mysore by dusk.




In the city, it is still very barnyard. Cows rule the streets, just as you may have heard about India. They are considered holy and no one can hurt one. They wander around, eating garbage from the gutters, stand or lay in the middle of the road and the dense traffic just makes its way around them. Elise says not to move out of the way for the beeping cars..."Act like a cow! Glance over and ignore the honk!" Ya right! Its still a shocking sight to see cows everywhere. Even though one hears and grasps the concept, until one actually sees it, do we understand. When the cow feels like going home, it returns to the owner to be relieved of its milk. The milk then becomes holy, as it is not taken from the cow, but rather given freely. Barnyard?

Driving is a whole other endeavor in India. I am still trying to decipher how many honks means what:

1 honk- I see you
2 honks- I have the right of way
3 honks- I am overtaking you
4 honks- Get the fuck out of my way

Just a guess! However, the right hand drive cars drive on the left side of the road, no one signals, and there are no lanes or rhyme nor reason! Just massive amounts of people all trying to pass each other, honking. There are very few stop lights, and when they stop, they turn off the engine. When the light turns green, they all rev up again. Even coasting down hills without the engine on is common. I don't even want to try to ride a scooter as many of the brave westerners do. Very barnyard.

I attempted to take a rickshaw downtown to pick up my saris by myself. I had a 12 o'clock appointment at "Dazzles" sari shop. They were closed. Sooooo barnyard. Now I am out another 100 rupees in rickshaw fare. I am not complaining, really!

This morning, I went with Elise and we had an underground quasi-illegal yoga class at Shelly's. The shala is closed for 4 days so we rebelled and did our own private class on her marble tiled living room floor. Interesting, because it used to be the old shala, back in the day.

After, Rachel and I went to the Green Hotel to the organic market to pick up my handmade business cards. I bought some organic cotton, vegetable dyed pants and we had a fruit platter on the terrace. The pineapple actually tasted like a barnyard, but since I am not complaining this week, we just laugh. On our walk back, we saw chickens run around the yards, rows of dried cow patties lining the street and logs of patty-caked cow patties with actual hand-prints in them! Who knows who collected all the cow poops and what they are used for...

Gratefully I am in India, as there are no coconut stands in barnyards!