AWAKENING INNER BLISS

I have now practiced yoga for 6 consecutive days. A first in my world! No wonder I have been craving chocolate...my body is in shock.

On my first day here while in conversation with my yoga teacher Sharath, an Indian woman in a sari came up to him, kneeled at his feet, kissed her hands and his feet 3 times, then swept the air to her third eye. Reputably, the Guru's energy comes into one this way.

However, 2 weeks later, its interesting to see the reverence and the spirituality extremes coexisting with the lack of respect.

Walking to the store, I was stopped by a youth of about 17 on a motorbike. "Excuse me...can you please show me your boobs?" I was absolutely dumbfounded as it took about 10 seconds to register. Zero reaction, other than my jaw on the ground, as he drove away. It was as though someone threw a bucket of cold water on me. After, I was thinking of all of the brilliant things I could have done: thrown a flip flop at his head, ran up and punched him or said something obscene, but nothing came to mind. Does this mean I have nirvana? I was even covered in a shawl, long sleeves and a high neckline. At the market I have to be downright rude and scold hawkers and beggers that are unrelenting. We are so kind and polite in Canada to everyone, but here, I walk with my sunglasses on, eyes down and don't talk to anyone. The Indian men try to talk to me... "Where are you from? Whats your name?" I just ignore and turn and walk in the other direction. If they persist, I say "Please don't talk to me." Rachel shook a rickshaw driver's hand. I passed her the antibacterial gel and told her "You're not supposed to do that here or they think you are a Ho!"

This morning, I was reading about Nirvana. Its about permanently stopping all negative thoughts and never getting angry again. At the same time, I could hear Elise in the hallway yelling at Yashoda, about her private washroom and the cook in there doing a number 2. Now it is tainted and she had to brush her teeth in my bathroom. This lifestyle can be so frustrating!

At breakfast, I ordered a yummy veggie omelet (there is no meat here- I've been a vegetarian for almost 3 weeks now), and decided I will eat all the foods I may miss for 9 days. I started crying, literally. I broke down and felt so helpless . My omelet was so salty I could barely eat it, there were potatoes in it (wtf?) and they forgot the tomato chutney. Anyone who knows me (My son Jordan says I'm so picky), knows how fickle I am about my food and frequently send meals back to the kitchen in restaurants.

Elise, Akasha and I then had a good chat about loss of control and surrender. Here, we don't have the luxury of choice, preparing our own food in our kitchen, shopping at all the regular stores with the availability of products at our fingertips. Even the comfort and leisure of going to any restaurant we choose. With the language barrier, you really don't know what the hell you might get. In Mysore, the hours are set: Lunch at 1, dinner at 5. We dine at only a few trustworthy places and what you get is what you get. There is a real letting go in the process.

But isn't this the way to inner bliss? The book I 'coincidentally' am reading is all about this subject...hmmmm interesting parallel! For example, Root ignorance- everything we see is not what we think it is- things are not themselves- they are ourselves. Self-ness- The things we perceive are seeds in our own mind and different from someone else. So basically, most other people would have loved the omelet; the salt, the potato, or even just having food to eat today. But I created the dissatisfaction in my own mind. We like what feels good and brings us peace and dislike what feels bad or brings us pain.

It is difficult not to get angry here, and this is another one of the karmic cleanse rules I may find challenging.